What You Don’t Define, You Can’t Control

fuck this

I have not wanted to blog at this blog anymore. “Bugbrennan” has been more effective beyond what I had intended when I started this effort a few years ago. Go ahead. Google it. Google “me.” You will see how awful I am, how much of an antagonist I have been.

I am the most transphobic person in the world, apparently. Also fat, ugly, unloveable, unfuckable, etc.

Being an antagonist, disrupting the conversation around gender identity was the point, of course.  And when I finished what I wanted to do, I put this blog to bed, and I started another blog.

But nothing beats the allure of BUGBRENNAN, who with a single comment on a Facebook post can kill the identities of Men around the world.

That’s a lot of power you gave me. Thanks!

Anyway, since you are still paying attention, I figured I would pop in to make a point about definitions.

Definitions. You know, what words mean. So, for example, when I am at Denny’s and I order a Moons Over My Hammy, I expect to get this:


Because that’s what a Moons Over My Hammy is.

I would be pissed off if I got this:


Not that I don’t appreciate a wheat grass shot – it’s just when I am at Denny’s, I want Moons Over My Hammy.

Every day, we speak using language. Some of us speak English, some Spanish, most of us speak Chinese. But whatever language we speak, we use words and those words have definitions. This is how we communicate ideas and understand one another.




Another example – after being told to “Die In A Fire” literally hundreds of times, one of you depraved people actually sets me on fire. I, being on fire, yell to my loved ones (because God knows you wouldn’t help me, as you want me to Die in A Fire)”Bring me a fire extinguisher.”

A fire extinguisher is a specific object with a specific meaning, performing a specific function. It is what one needs to put out a fire. I would die if you brought me an Apple or a Banana, even if you called it a fire extinguisher.

Words mean things.

Our GLBTGOFUCKYOURSELF community is obsessed with not defining things, with breaking down what words mean, with erasing barriers and borders. This is fine *in theory.* It’s fine in theory to talk about how words limit us. They do. That’s part of the deal. We have mere human words to define things, and in return, I get a Moons Over My Hammy when I order it.

The alternative to defining things is not defining things.  That is, words mean whatever you say they mean, and God forbid if you try to define words. Defining words is bigotry. This neat Jedi Mind Trick was used very effectively in the run up to the marriage equality movement, where GLBTWTF activists succeeded beyond all imagination in convincing everyone that people who define marriage as “One Man, One Women” are bigots. Never mind that that is what marriage meant – for better or for worse (ha, see what I did there) – for centuries. Using words as defined makes you a bigot – and we all know what happens to bigots.

For what it’s worth, I think people who oppose marriage equality may or may not be bigots. It does not necessarily matter to me to demonize these people. They lost a political battle. Part of the reason they lost this political battle is because of propaganda that changed the definition of marriage.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy propaganda, I’ve deployed it, it is useful. But it’s propaganda. It’s not reflective of reality; it creates a new one.

This same propaganda is now used against Lesbians, to tell us that we are bigots for understanding that Lesbians are female homosexuals. This is transphobia. This is wrong. This is “cissexism.”


I have seen this over and over from liberals, who say things like this:

I wouldn’t let a man define what it means to be a lesbian for me, so I will not let another woman define it either.*

The woman who wrote these brain-dead words, like many many many many many other people who have grabbed hold to the Queer GLBTGOFUCKOFF Movement, has bought this idea that defining things is bad.

It really doesn’t matter that she has a personal feeling about what a Lesbian is. Go enjoy your personal feelings. Yey! But a Lesbian is actually a female homosexual. That’s what the word means.

Yes, this definition upsets a lot of Men because it excludes them. And yes, it’s wholly ironic that brain dead liberals like this woman won’t let a Man define what Lesbian means, unless that Man is a Woman who says he’s a Lesbian.

But it really doesn’t matter how you *personally* define things. Words have meaning BEYOND YOU. That is how we are able to speak to one another and communicate ideas. This is the point of language. If we all had our own personal language where none of use the same words, or mean the same things when we use the same words, we cannot communicate.

And this is exactly what is happening now in the GLBT Movement and beyond. The GLBT Movement is using language in ways that go beyond commonly understood definitions because, in fact, the GLBT Movement is doing the same Jedi Mind Trick they did with “marriage” to Lesbian.

Lesbian is no longer a “female homosexual;” it’s “whatever you feel it is.”

This non-definition/redefinition/subjective definition has consequences for Women, because if you cannot name something, if you cannot establish who is in and who is out, you cannot protect yourself, you cannot establish boundaries, you cannot say no.

How is this not rape culture?

Dick is a dick is a dick is a dick.

Even when you call it a girl cock.

And Men are not Lesbians.

And your personal desire not to want to define words does not trump the fact that billions on the people use language everyday to communicate the idea of what a “Lesbian” is, what a “Woman” is, what a “Man” is.

You can start calling a Man a Woman all you like; Women will come up with a different word to distinguish the “Women” with penises” from the Women with vaginas.  And Lesbians will come up with a different word to communicate that we do not want relationships with Males.

I think about the Sneetches a lot...

I think about the Sneetches a lot…

We do this because definition matters. Without definition, without words, without the power of naming, Women cannot speak to each other and about our oppression.

Some might say this is precisely the point of the GLBT Movement – to derail Women and our conversations, our speech, our movement, our liberation.

I would not say that is wrong. Neither would Mary Daly.



* Here is a variation on this theme:

Who knows what a woman is? I sure don’t.




  1. Reblogged this on Hypotaxis and commented:
    Excellent post on language.

  2. Yes, words do have meaning; often baked into them by centuries of use and a mutually agreed on understanding of our spoken, written and signed communications. No matter how the con-men and women deconstruct, obfuscate and fraudulently reconstruct words to manipulate our perceptions there remain facts that can be defined in words which reflect reality and truth.

  3. You are awesome! “Moons Over My Hammy”, that was brilliant.

    Yes, those words made me cringe too. Just say it. We know the word. We know the definition. Use the word as intended and define it if someone else misunderstands it.

  4. Superb essay. Language presents a problem for many people, particularly people with a bit of brains and a desire to control the narrative. THEIR definition of what a word means or doesn’t mean — “I sure don’t” [know what woman means] is absolutely absurd — is superior to the common understanding and, of course, creates conditions in which it is very difficult for them to communicate with other people.

  5. Survivorthriver · ·

    Ah, your words here make me feel like just like just after a fresh spring rain. Cleans off the dust, clears away the cobwebs and inspires a big breath all the way down to my toes of pure satisfaction. In short, an inspiration!

  6. Words, and names, have to MEAN things or they’re nonsense.

    It’s a bit like money: We have a mutually-agreed-upon definition of what a five-dollar bill means, and what a twenty-dollar bill means. The definitions here are not up for debate: Don’t hand me a five and say it’s a twenty. Your personal desire for it to BE a twenty is irrelevant. It’s a five.

  7. it is horrible to be unable to point at and name your oppressers. worse still that your oppressors then demand you see your oppression their way.

    thanks for being you.

    1. Hope you are ok, PG.

  8. I am a transsexual woman, and I have read your letter to the UN. I saw that you are not transphobic at all. You showed respect and acceptance of women who are truly transsexual. I also saw that you have very legitimate concerns about male violence against women, which does resonate with me. I have these concerns, as I walk home, and I see men who sometimes feel the need to kiss me or touch me, without my approval. And even worse has happened than that. The trans activists whom you have come into contact with do not represent all transsexual/transgender women. I agree totally that many of the twitter activists are abusers. The language cannot be justified, with one even wishing the death of “TERFs.” After reading your letter, I don’t understand how someone can call you a TERF. I can see how TERF has become a slur. In the future, I hope to have honest dialogue. I am really not into hate. I am disgusted with some of the trans activists, who target and abuse women. I support anyone who advocates for safe spaces for women because, regardless of what we may think of each other, you are also advocating for my safety, considering I have these same fears concerning male violence against women…

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